You deserve an apology.

Ohshit. That post - wasn't meant to sound like that. I remember writing, but I don't remember soundign liek such a bitch. I really hate myself sometimes. I just -

I mean, this era. I'm not going to pretend it never happened. I mean, I was happy. I was. But the fact that it's over kind of hurts me, if you see what I'm saying. I did lose friends, I did, but in the end maybe some of that was for the better.

Alex is an amazing person, he is, but he's someone elses amazing person, not mine. I think a part of me will always miss what I suppose we won't have, because I ruined that for myself yesterday afternoon in the cupboard and I suppose when I wrote that this morning.

It's so easy for me to put this front on and pretend I don't care, but I do, I'll miss it, I'll miss what I've lost, but what I was trying to say is that there are new things to look forward to as well, I don't have to dwell on the past and let my life end because of one twist in the plot.

I'm really sorry about this morning. I am. Especially to Alex, who didn't deserve what I wrote. He's talented, clever and one of the nicest people, but I suppose what people were telling me made him seem so horrible to me, when really I need to hear his version of things.

I know it's difficult to rectify that kind of public mistake, but I hope part of you can forgive me.