a clean-ish slate.

"where have all becky's blog posts gone?" i hear you cry. well, i was revealing too much. i don't want to put my whole soul out here for you to read. it's too personal. and while i admit that blogs are designed to give people an insight into your mind (well, mine was) i don't want you to know everything. and that's what i'm giving you.

but not any more. it's gone. it's not like it was anything interesting anyway. so, a fresh start? well, no. there's no such thing. but i would like a clean slate and fresh start blog-wise.

i am becky. i am english and proud, but i would give anything to speak like my welsh family (who are dwindling). i live in cambridgeshire, and i guess it's kind of pretty in places. i look kind of like velma from scooby doo, which depresses me at times, but she's the cool one really. and it's better to look like her than scooby himself.

my parents got divorced about 3 years ago. i was sad at the time, but they always had a crap marriage and it was doomed to failure. and it didn't exactly come as a shock to me. not everyone in this house is ignorant about what goes on around them. they're a lot happier now that mum got over dad, and the only shouting in the house is when me + jack have been morons. which isn't all that often. so i just don't care any more.

i love doctor who, and on saturday nights i really need it. so this year will be poop, especially now my fave doctor (and the most attractive) is leaving. darn not wanting to be typecast.

i show a lot of the symptoms of depression. i get the weepies a lot, especially when i am angry or frustrated. when i am sad i get the hystericals. if i am happy it is never for long, and there is always something that isn't brilliant on my mind. but, despite what you might read on my new improved blog, i am not depressed. i have never considered taking my own life, and i have only cried myself to sleep twice in my life, and that's over now. because i am happy.

yes, i do have a boyfriend, yes i am in love with him. his name is alex, enough on the subject, if i talk about how great he is for as long as he deserves i will be teased no end.

anyway, enough of the boring stuff. let's cut to the chase.

today was hideous. all the people i want to talk to are in japan, which has made me realise how few my friends are in number. but they are special. unless they forget my postcard, in which case i may have to disown them. no, i couldn't do that. they are far too special, and i really don't fit in with anyone else.

it's abba band tomorrow. i run one for this school competition... long story. maybe i shouldn't have deleted all my blog posts. still, there's no rewind on life, so i guess i will just have to accept and move on. i'm looking forward to it. today we did the dance moves, and they are great. miss badger is crazy! i love it, and i know that we can get the music sorted in a flash. to be honest, i'm not sure how much winning matters to me. i'd take a second. because i'm having a lot of fun doing it. yes, i am a competitive sort, but i could live with myself if i came second to woolf. after all, he is golden boy.

i also got my grounding partially renounced. i can't go to alex's on sunday, but that's all i'm not allowed to do. which kinda sucks, i wish they'd taken something else away. still, mum made her point. and i did kind of betray her trust, so fair's fair.

i did some homework-y stuff, and i had that chat with mrs pattison about my maths not being up to scratch. there is a possibility that i could do modular and stay in my current set, which ought to lighten the workload, and hopefully give me soem kidn of confidence boost - maths is the subject that really stresses me out. i am more stressed about not getting an a* in maths than i was when i was failing ict. but i'm not any more, i've got a pass, 2 merits and a distinction. and soon that shall change to 4 distinctions... i hope. it's my target grade, anyway.

anyway, i'll talk later. ttfn x