Hello, I am a very sleepy and dishevelled-looking Becky.

I am feeling hysterical in both senses of the word but am inordinately happy. Don't even ask me why. I'm alone, I've had a day of boredom + I've got more ahead of me and the only thing I have to look forward to is the Easter break. Perhaps this will hit home at some point, but hopefully that won't be too soon. I like happy + hysterical, in an odd sort of way.

Well, since I last blogged what seems like a lot has gone on. On Friday I felt less alone than I had in weeks. I sort of let everything go, and it was the first night I slept well - no necklace and no talking (or so my dad tells me). We'd all been to see a random sci-fi film called Push and even though it wasn't the best film I had ever seen, I had cheered up considerably (and not because of the additives in my Fanta Frozen). Letting things out does help, as those of you who bother with your blogs (so none of you) will know. 

I guess that's kind of what I did Thursday night. Then, it didn't seem like it was over - the angry thoughts, though drowning in love, were still whirling round my head. But I didn't really have the issue anymore. Which was pretty darn great. I didn't have graphic dreams then either, though some of them were still quite sad and creepy. Maybe that is just how my subconscious is. Sad + creepy and insane :)

I like insanity. You can do dumb things and get away with them, because you are not mentally sound.

Saturday... I basically had a day in. I got up 10-ish and it was the best sleep ever. I cleaned the bathroom + smelt of bleach. It was pretty horrid, and I hate the smell of bleach on my hands, I can never make it go away no matter how many times I wash them. But Mummy said clean it or don't phone Alex. So I cleaned. And very nicely I did it too :)

Then I phoned Alex. I so wanted him with me and to give him a big hug after a week of nothing. After he'd gone I sort of felt like I'd just been crying. When you're empty and full at the same time? I need to see him more. NEED. In big bold capital letters. It is fundamental to my existence. Or at least to a happy existence, which is ultimately what we all want.

Hello, now it's Monday, and I totally forgot to publish this. So I'll write a bit more for today :)

Sunday I did a lot of sudoku + finally edited my Shakespeare properly. It took me 4 weeks, but it's finished. All I have to do now is remember to hand it to Ms Daniel. SHALL REMEMBER.

And today... Well, I am already wishing for easter holidays, let's put it that way. School is pants + I am in the worst mood known to woman. That is how angry. I have a dreadful case of the weepies (or hystericals) and I just feel like I want to shoot everyone around me, even the people I love. I hate myself like this, because I hate grumbly complainy people with perfect lives. Well, my life is not perfect but at the moment it is nice enough. To be called nice.

I'll sign off, this is drivel. Bye x